Well, it's official. I have cancer. Squamous cell cancer in the lymph nodes in my neck. I had lunch at the chinese buffet today. The one on Two Notch where Debbie and I liked to eat. I got a fortune cookie, in her memory, as I always do. They never seem to say much, and usually what they do say doesn't seem to mean much as far as making any sense of anything. I always try to look for some sign from Debbie in them, some message, some something. Today's message was a little different. It said," All things have an end." And the "word" to learn was "good". I'm still working on what it could mean, but I'm sure it is a message of some kind. I went on to my doctor's appointment yesterday afternoon, and that's when they told me about the cancer. It's affected my lymph nodes in the left side of my neck, two or three of them so far. The doctors think it may have originated in my left tonsil but they just don't know yet. I have a CT scan this afternoon, and they have me scheduled for a surgery next Thursday. They also are pretty insistent that I see a psychiatrist. I guess they want to be sure my mindset is ok after Debbie passed away. To be honest, I don't know where my feelings are. I want so badly to go be with her. So badly. And I don't know whether to see this as a blessing to take me to her, or just another stumbling block in life. I'll just have to give it some time and see where it goes. One thing for sure, whatever the outcome will be is what the outcome will be. Not my decision. All I can do is give it to God, and trust that he'll take care of me and help me through whatever it is I'm supposed to do here.